Is your child being bullied by their teacher? How to address the situation

Medically reviewed by Andrea Brant, LMHC

Updated April 18, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Content warning: Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that include abuse which could be triggering to the reader. If you or someone you love is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7. Please also see our Get Help Now page for more immediate resources.

Although we don’t like to focus on the idea of a teachers bullying their students, a hard reality that many students and families face is the mistreatment of students by teachers. This form of bullying can manifest in various ways and leave a lasting impact on kids and their families.

To avoid the negative consequences of teacher bullying, it can be important for the parents of those affected to recognize mistreatment by schools or associated adult teammate, advocate for their children’s health and find viable solutions and resources to support the recovery process moving forward.

To avoid the negative consequences of teacher bullying, it can be important for the parents of those affected to recognize mistreatment by schools or associated adult teammates, advocate for their children’s health and find viable solutions and resources to support the recovery process moving forward.

If you are a parent of a child who has been bullied by their teacher, there are steps you can take to address the situation, support your student’s mental health and ensure your child’s educational environment is safe, comfortable, and conducive to learning. We’ve summarized them for you below.

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It can be hard to find out your child is being bullied

Seek emotional support with online therapy

What is teacher bullying?

Bullying on the part of educators or school staff can take many forms, often manifesting as intimidation, threats, discrimination, exclusion, or negligence. Mistreatment may include repeated discipline without cause, disparaging or demeaning remarks, neglecting to step in (or joining in) when classmates are bullying a student or providing excessively negative evaluations in front of the kids in class. In past years, many may have accepted this type of treatment toward their children, but it can cause lasting harm.

Mistreatment and bullying behavior on the part of teachers is considered by many to be a widely prevalent concern. In one survey, 45% of teachers admitted to bullying their students. If unaddressed, this bullying and discriminatory harassment can hinder a student's ability to receive a quality education and severely impact their mental well-being. According to one study, potential long-term mental health consequences include low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and personality disorders.

In short, while campaigns designed to stop bullying are popular among the student body, they don’t often extend to parents in this context—making teacher bullying and mistreatment a possibly underreported subject that could affect your child’s learning experience.

How to address a teacher's bullying

Given many children’s hesitance to discuss mistreatment and the trusted position teachers typically hold, it may be difficult to recognize and address bullying by educators. By being able to identify common signs of maltreatment and then take appropriate action, you can help stop the bullying and limit the negative effects your child may face if their teacher is bullying them. The following are tips for addressing bullying by a teacher and fostering a safer, more supportive educational environment for your child and other students.

Recognizing the signs of bullying

Bullying by their teachers can cause your child to experience emotional distress, exhibit behavioral challenges, or struggle with subjects in which they typically excel. Recognizing these and other signs of bullying in your child’s life can be the first step toward addressing the situation.

Signs a child is being bullied by an abusive teacher include:

Feigning illness in order to avoid school
Noticeable changes in self-esteem
Emotional distress
Social isolation
Behavioral challenges
Lower grades than normal
Excessively harsh or negative remarks on papers or conduct reports
Reduced desire to engage with schoolwork
Remarks on a teacher’s demeaning or overly critical behavior

The emotional distress often prompted by bullying from teachers can manifest as fear or sadness. Concurrently, a decline in academic performance may occur as a student who is being bullied struggles to concentrate, loses interest in school and friends, or develops a negative attitude toward learning.

If you notice these signs in your student, it can be helpful to remember that early intervention can help. Having your child speak to a licensed therapist and taking steps to support your student can help you to directly address the concern quickly. Listen

The first step when responding to potential bullying by a teacher will usually be to let your child explain what has happened. You can ask them to provide details so that you can better understand the situation; and provide them with the emotional support they are likely to need at that moment. Having a clear picture of what’s been happening can make it easier for you to seek assistance and start developing solutions.

Keep a record

A crucial part of advocating for your child generally involves documenting the incidents of bullying they’ve experienced. By gathering information on bullying episodes—including the teacher’s exact behaviors, when they occurred, who else witnessed them, and other pertinent details—you can keep a detailed record on hand and provide useful information to school authorities or other teachers when necessary.

In addition to talking to your child, you might also want to discuss the situation with other parents, whose children may have observed the behavior or experienced a similar situation with that educator.

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Learn pertinent policies, laws, and regulations

Prior to taking your concerns to school administrators or others who can resolve the situation, it can be important for you to understand your child’s rights within their specific educational setting. Different states, school districts and municipalities often deal with bullying in varying ways. An understanding of the prevention policies, regulations and procedures related to bullying in your area can help you better address instances of teachers bullying your child.

StopBullying.gov provides resources that list the laws pertaining to bullying in each state, as well as a broader overview of the laws related to bullying in the US. This can help you understand how bullying is commonly characterized, when certain controls or policies apply, who is safeguarded, and what action can be taken. Familiarizing yourself with school policies and rules and local and national laws can provide a strong foundation as you form your line toward a solution.

Speak up

If your child is being bullied by their educator, you can use your voice to ensure their learning space is safe. In situations that are less severe, you may want to first discuss the situation with their teacher. Talking to your child’s educator allows you to air your concerns directly and find a straightforward resolution. They may not have realized that they were targeting only one student or that their behavior caused your child distress.

If talking to your child’s teacher has not yielded results or is not a viable option, you may need to bring your concerns to one of the teacher’s supervisors or a senior teacher. Depending on the typical procedure for addressing bullying by teachers in your district or school, the next point of contact may be the school’s principal, vice principal or another administrator. After you’ve reached out to these people, you might also have to go to your district’s school board or schedule meetings with other school authorities.

During meetings with school officials, you can communicate the problems and your concerns, and present any evidence you have gathered. Administrators or other authorities can work with you to determine the best way of resolving the situation so that your child feels comfortable in class. Advocating for your child helps to ensure they receive fair treatment and can learn in a positive environment that offers emotional safety.

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It can be hard to find out your child is being bullied

Seek emotional support with online therapy

Seek support

If bullying from teachers has affected your family, the guidance, encouragement and care of others can help both you and your child move forward. As a parent, you can contact outside organizations for support, such as parent-teacher associations or child advocacy groups. You can also arrange for your child to discuss their concerns with a school counselor. This can provide them with emotional support and also signal to them that they have advocates from other adults within the school. Encourage your child to be open in communicating with you about situations that don’t feel right to them.

Seeking further mental health care for emotional distress caused by teachers bullying students may also be beneficial. A professional can help validate your child’s feelings and experiences as well as monitor and address symptoms of potential mental health challenges that may have arisen due to mistreatment from the school bully. If you’d like helpful parenting insights and advice on navigating a potential bullying situation, you can also seek the support of a professional.

Finding support through online therapy

Studies show that online therapy can be a useful tool for parents of children who experience challenges that may arise out of bullying, such as social phobia or other anxiety disorders. The results of one study show that an online intervention—which was geared toward helping caregivers develop strategies for decreasing anxiety in children—led to significant reductions in the symptoms of children whose parents completed the program. These results can be added to those of an increasing number of studies suggesting the effectiveness of online therapy that can help parents address both the mental health concerns of their children and challenges regarding their own emotional well-being.

Online therapy can be a convenient source of support for parents of bullying survivors. Using online therapy platforms like BetterHelp, you can work with a therapist remotely, which can be helpful if you’re already busy as a parent. Your therapist can also connect you with useful resources, such as articles geared toward developing coping strategies for the emotional impacts of bullying.

Takeaway

Teacher bullying can leave years of lasting impact on young people and their families. To address and overcome bullying abuse, it can be important for the youths affected and their supporters to recognize the signs of mistreatment, advocate for themselves and seek help. If teacher bullying has affected your child, a mental health professional can help you give them the support they need and provide insights into how you can effectively address the situation. Getting matched with a licensed therapist can be a constructive next step toward fostering both educational success and mental wellness in your family.

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BULLYING

PREVENTION AND COPING

How to Respond to a Teacher Who Bullies

By Sherri Gordon

Updated on July 18, 2020

Medically reviewed by Amy Morin, LCSW

altrendo images/Stockbyte/Getty Images

Table of Contents

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Table of Contents

The majority of teachers your child will encounter are good at what they do. In fact, many teachers go beyond what is expected. But, there are teachers who do not handle their responsibilities well and even some teachers who bully their students. Instead of using proper discipline procedures or effective classroom management techniques, they use their power to condemn, manipulate or ridicule students.

When the bullying is physical, most parents do not hesitate to report incidents. But, when the bullying is emotional or verbal, parents are not sure what to do. They fear to make things worse for their child. While this concern is valid, it is never a good idea to ignore bullying. Here are ten ideas for addressing bullying teachers.

Document All Bullying Incidents

Record everything that happens including dates, times, witnesses, actions, and consequences. For instance, if the teacher berates your child in front of the class be sure to write down the date, the time, what was said, and which students were present. If other students participate in the bullying as a result of the teacher’s actions, be sure to include that information too.

If there is any physical bullying, cyberbullying, or harassment based on race or disability, report this to your local police immediately. Depending on the area where you live, these types of bullying may be considered crimes.

Reassure and Support Your Child

Talk to your child about school and what is taking place. Be supportive and really listen. Ask how your child wants the situation handled.

Your first priority is to help your child heal from the bullying.

Consequently, do not hesitate to connect with a counselor. Also, have your child evaluated by a pediatrician to check for signs of depression, anxiety issues, and sleep problems. Watch for signs of bullying and remember that kids often don’t report bullying behavior.1

Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem

When dealing with bullying, it is important for kids to see their strengths. Encourage them to focus on things other than bullying like favorite activities or new hobbies. Also, do not spend too much time talking about bullying. Doing so, keeps them focused on the negative in their life. Instead, help them see that there are other things in life to be happy about. This will help build resilience.

Talk With Your Child First

It is never a good idea to have a meeting with a teacher or principal without telling your child. Doing so can embarrass kids if they find out about the situation after the fact. Additionally, kids need to be prepared emotionally if the meeting does not go well and the teacher retaliates. Never do anything regarding this situation without touching base with your child first.

Follow the Chain of Command

Remember, the closer people are to the problem, the more likely they will be able to take swift, effective action. If you go straight to the top, you will most likely be asked whom you have talked to about the situation and what have you done to remedy the situation.

Exhaust all possibilities for resolving this issue at the lower levels first.

Additionally, if you have documentation from your interactions, it will be hard to ignore what you have to say when you do get to the top.

Consider Meeting With the Teacher

Depending on the severity and frequency of the bullying, you may want to go directly to the teacher. Many times, a teacher meeting will resolve the problem if you take a cooperative approach when discussing the situation. Try to keep an open mind and listen to the teacher’s perspective. Avoid screaming, accusing, blaming, and threatening to sue. Instead, allow the teacher to talk.

Express Your Concerns

While it is important to express your concerns, be sure you also allow others to engage in the conversation. For instance, if your child seems to be afraid in class, mention this fact. Then ask the teacher what might be going on. This step allows teachers to talk about what they see. Additionally, teachers are less likely to get defensive if you are open to hearing their perspective.

Take Your Complaint Higher

If the situation doesn’t improve or the bullying is severe in nature, make sure you go to the teacher's supervisor or the building administrator. Sometimes teachers will rationalize their behavior, blame the student, or refuse to admit any wrongdoing.

Other times, bullying is much too severe to risk speaking with a teacher directly. If this is the case, ask to meet with the principal in person. Share your documentation and discuss your concerns. You also could request a classroom transfer at this point. Not all principals will honor such requests, but some do.

Continue up the Chain of Command

Unfortunately, some principals will let teachers who bully go unchallenged or deny that bullying is taking place. If this is the case, it is time to file a formal complaint with the superintendent or the school board. Keep good records of all your communications including e-mails, letters, and documentation of telephone calls.

Do Not Let Bullying Go on Indefinitely

If the principal, superintendent, or school board drags their feet in responding to you, then consider getting legal counsel.2 In the meantime, investigate other options for your child like a transfer to another school, private school, homeschooling, and online programs.

Leaving your child in a bullying situation can have dire consequences. Make every effort to either end the bullying or remove your child from the situation.

Never assume the bullying will end without intervention nor should you expect that your child will get over it or be fine.

A Word From Verywell

Overall, bullying by a teacher can be scary and overwhelming for students, especially because of the power that teachers have in the classroom. As a result, do not delay in taking action on behalf of your child. And don't stop fighting for your child even if you do not get immediate results. With persistence, you will make the situation better for your child and then the healing can begin.

Does Your Child Have a Bad Teacher?

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By Sherri Gordon
Sherri Gordon, CLC is a published author, certified professional life coach, and bullying prevention expert.